Here, TrueSport Expert Nadia Kyba, MSW, President of Now What Facilitation, is sharing some simple do’s and don’ts for creating a social media policy with your athletes that will improve team culture.

Do: Acknowledge Athletes Use Social Media for Connection

Social media isn’t all bad: It can keep athletes connected during the off-season, allow them to communicate more comfortably, and even create a sense of team unity when it’s used in a healthy way. “It’s the way that people form connections now, especially young people,” says Kyba. “That’s important.”

Don’t: Try to Ignore Social Media Altogether

As a coach, Kyba says part of creating a healthy team culture includes an acceptance of social media. Your athletes are almost certainly using it, so rather than shying away from discussing use of social media, have discussions about social media and etiquette around it.

Do: Set Phone Use Boundaries Early in the Season

“Have an open dialogue with the team about what phone use and social media is going to look like at games, at practice, and on the team bus,” says Kyba. “When people can be on their phones, and when should they be out of sight?” Set these boundaries and include consequences if an athlete ignores those boundaries.

Don’t: Allow Poor Social Media Behavior from Parents

It’s disheartening, but Kyba says that some of the bad social media behavior she sees comes from parents of athletes who turn to social media to complain about referees, coaches, and even other young athletes. Unfortunately, there isn’t much you can do about parental behavior as a coach, but if the posts can be considered bullying or are offensive, you can bring the issue up to an athletic director or school administrator to determine next steps, which may include barring a parent from competitions.

Do: Agree on Team Social Media Strategy

At the beginning of the season, determine your team’s plan for social media. It will be based on what’s allowed at your school, of course, but while some teams may be excited about sharing on social media and want to take turns posting photos from competitions, other teams may prefer to stay off social media altogether. Make sure the team is on the same page before posting.

Don’t: Assume Everyone is Comfortable on Social Media

More and more young people are opting out of social media entirely and prefer to not have their picture posted online, says Kyba. So, before you post the team photo to the school’s Instagram, make sure that every athlete is comfortable with their picture being shared. If they aren’t, respect that and ensure that other team members understand that boundary as well.

Do: Have a Social Media Code of Conduct

At the beginning of the season, have your team create a code of conduct specifically for social media that enforces good sportsmanship. It can include things like not posting anything negative after a game, or only saying positive things about teammates, or simply retread the code of conduct the team has for in-person situations. Have everyone take part in the creation of the code of conduct so they feel ownership over it, says Kyba. Have them sign it—and consider having parents sign one as well!

Don’t: Ignore Social Media Bullying

If an athlete comes to you with a concern about bullying happening on social media, treat it the same way that you would an in-person bullying allegation. This can potentially be more fraught, as some students will have dummy accounts, or accounts that aren’t in their name, so it’s more complicated than observing one student bullying the other. But it is just as serious and should be brought to the attention of the appropriate administrator or counselor.

Do: Set Clear Boundaries Between Yourself and Students

Social media has also blurred the lines of athlete/adult relationships, and Kyba says it’s important to communicate the appropriate boundaries that you’re setting on your own social media use. “You shouldn’t be following your athletes, especially those with private accounts, and you should never be communicating with them on those platforms,” Kyba says. Let your athletes know that it’s not personal that you don’t respond to their messages or follow requests, it’s simply the policy.

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Takeaway

Social media usage amongst young athletes is almost inevitable, and as a coach, you’re in a position to set appropriate boundaries for phone usage during practice and competitions. You can also help your athletes by creating a code of conduct specifically around social media use and setting policies for posting (or not posting) as a team.

TrueSport Expert and registered social worker, Nadia Kyba, addresses how parents, coaches, and athletes can respect and overcome generational differences to improve their communication and relationships.

Learn more about Nadia Kyba.

Learn more about Nadia Kyba.

TrueSport Expert and President of Now What Facilitation, Nadia Kyba, MSW, explains how fostering value-driven behavior can unite and motivate players, which helps individuals thrive and teams achieve greater success.

Learn more about Nadia Kyba.

The COVID-19 pandemic has also exacerbated assumption-making in every arena, and young people are particularly vulnerable as school and sports practices have shifted to remote models.

Here, Nadia Kyba, MSW, TrueSport Expert and President of Now What Facilitation, explains how assumptions can be dangerous and how an athlete interaction, when left unchecked, can go from a minor incident during a game to a major problem for a team.

The Circle of Inference

According to Kyba, the Circle of Inference explains how we interpret information and actions based on assumptions to form beliefs that drive our actions. Conflict arises when athletes misinterpret another person’s motives based on their own perception of the facts.

Below, Kyba walks through an example of how a missed opportunity for a pass in a soccer game could lead to a player quitting the team because he feels like his teammates all dislike him. It might sound overly dramatic to a coach or parent, but to a young athlete who’s basing his actions on selected facts with his underlying assumptions and beliefs, it’s a very real scenario.

The Action: During a soccer game, Joe is running up the midfield, open, and calls to Andy to pass him the ball. Instead, Andy passes the ball to Tim.

“Now, Joe is making a whole bunch of assumptions about why Andy made that pass choice,” Kyba explains. “He isn’t asking if Andy passed to Tim because there was actually a defender standing behind him, or because Tim was in a better passing position, or if Andy didn’t hear him call out. Joe is seeing Andy not pass him the ball through his own lens of assumptions and beliefs.” What we’re looking at now is Joe’s version of events, in order to see how dangerous assumptions can be.

Selected Facts: Andy ignored Joe in favor of passing the ball to another player.

Often, an athlete like Joe will operate with only the initial selected fact—that Andy didn’t pass the ball to him—without thinking through other facts, like what else was happening in the game, if Andy heard him, or if Tim was in a better position. Instead, athletes should, “Start by asking ‘What do I know?’” says Kyba. You can also ask, “What don’t I know?” Pausing and journaling about these questions may help an athlete skip assumption-making in favor of a more rational explanation.

Assumptions: Andy thinks that Joe is a terrible soccer player.

In this case, that’s the assumption Joe is making. He doesn’t have any facts that prove it—Andy has never said that Joe is terrible at soccer—he’s basing this entirely on the lack of a pass during one game. But this is how the human mind tends to work, Kyba explains. “We make assumptions, working with selected facts. We’re not working with a 360-degree view of exactly what happened,” she says. “We just take the little bits of information that we have and form our assumption based on that small slice of information.”

Beliefs: Beliefs go beyond assumptions from an event; they are based on how a person perceives the world and themselves after years of information being processed in a certain way. Here, Joe believes he isn’t a very good soccer player and struggles with self-confidence.

“People who feel insecure in a situation or certain context will have a different narrative going in their head about what’s going on,” Kyba explains. So, in this case, Joe isn’t just seeing Andy not passing him the ball, he’s seeing this as confirmation that everyone else thinks he’s a terrible soccer player. He might also already have a belief that the people on the team don’t like him or think he’s very good, which will also impact his assessment of the situation.

Interpersonal Mush: The goalie mentions to Joe that he noticed Andy purposely not passing the ball to Joe.

“The mush is incoming information based on the way other people are interpreting the story,” Kyba explains. So, in this case, now the goalie’s assumption that Andy didn’t pass on purpose is added to the mix, further muddying the waters. The goalie has his own set of assumptions about what went on during the game, so now Joe has his own assumptions and beliefs mixed in with those of the goalie. This is why inter-team gossip can quickly escalate problems between teammates.

Actions: Joe quits the team.

With all the beliefs and assumptions at play, it’s easy to see how Joe could end up leaving the team altogether. It seems dramatic to quit after a single ball-passing incident, but as you can see from the addition of beliefs and assumptions, a small action can lead to much bigger results—especially for young people who struggle to have difficult conversations to get to the bottom of problems. “He could quit the team, or maybe he goes home and sends a mean text to Andy and starts a fight, or he sends a text to other teammates telling them to not pass to Andy the next game—either way, Joe’s response can easily change the team dynamic,” Kyba says.

How to Avoid Conflict from Making Assumptions

From this somewhat simplified example, it’s easy to see how one athlete failing to pass the ball to another athlete in the first game of the season can have a ripple effect for the next game, and the next, all the way to the finals. After one action comes a reaction, and that reaction starts the circle of inference all over again. That is why it’s important to make sure that your young athletes become aware of how they make assumptions and the conflict it can create.

Especially when coaching teenagers, it’s important to remind them that not every perceived slight is actually about them. “Even as adults, rarely are these situations about us,” Kyba says. “But we all have years of assumptions and beliefs that make us feel as though a simple action is much more meaningful than it actually is.” Even if our assumptions do turn out to be correct, it’s better to gather the facts, engage in discussion, and then make a conclusion.

Ultimately, as you read through this example, you probably realized that Joe could have avoided leaving the team if he had simply paused, looked at the objective facts—Andy passed to Tim and not to Joe—and then had a conversation with Andy about it. Joe likely would have realized that Andy simply didn’t see or hear him during the game. “Once you get clear on the facts and your own assumptions, it’s much easier to have a conversation and come to a more informed conclusion,” Kyba adds.

Here, Nadia Kyba, MSW, TrueSport Expert and President of Now What Facilitation, explains how to use a form of nonviolent communication when beginning a tough conversation, as well as how to practice it in a low-stress setting.

Be okay with emotion

The most important lesson to teach a young athlete is that it’s okay to feel emotional when approaching a hard conversation, whether it’s asking the coach how to get more playing time, or asking a teammate why she won’t pass the ball during games. “People often avoid having hard conversations because they’re afraid that they’ll get emotional—start crying—during them,” Kyba says. “But that’s okay. And if you take the time to prepare and have a bit of a script, maybe even practice having the conversation out loud to yourself or a trusted adult, then it’s going to be easier to do it. I try to get people to prepare ahead of time when possible, and then invite the other person to have the talk at a set time rather than just getting into it.”

Think before you start

On the note of preparation, Kyba is a firm believer in scripting out what you want to say, and knowing what you want to get out of the confrontation. The worst kind of difficult conversation is when both parties leave feeling as though they weren’t understood and their needs weren’t met. “Whenever you’re feeling like you’re about to have, or need to have, some kind of confrontation, the best thing to do is to step back and pause,” says Kyba. Think about the conversation you hope to have. What are the facts that you’re bringing in? Are there any assumptions that you’re making that may not be true? What exactly is the problem that you want solved? Taking five minutes to journal through these questions can make the conversation much clearer, which means it’s much more likely to get resolved in a way that benefits both parties.

Set the stage

For a young athlete, setting the stage for a conversation may mean setting a time to speak with the coach during his or her office hours, texting a teammate to see if they can talk before or after practice, or even leaving a note for a parent asking for a parent/child meeting in the evening. Having a face-to-face discussion is ideal, Kyba says, but video chat or phone will work if in-person meetings are impossible right now. She recommends avoiding text or email to have a tough conversation though, since tone of voice is critical. “If you’re nervous about crying, then try having your talk on the phone—plus, that way you can have your notes in front of you,” she points out.

Follow the script

Kyba recommends using this five-step approach to a difficult conversation. Of course, not every person will be on the same page, but having this script worked out in your head or on paper before beginning the conversation can be extremely helpful.

1. Acknowledge: “Thank you for taking the time to talk to me.”

First, thank the person and acknowledge them for being willing to have this conversation, Kyba says. This helps establish a positive space for the discussion and emphasizes the desire to have a conversation, not a fight.

2. Describe: “In the game yesterday, I was open a lot, but I noticed that you never passed me the ball.”

Without adding any emotion or feelings, explain what you want to discuss. Use facts and keep it as simple as possible.

3. Feeling: “I felt overlooked.”

Now, you can explain how the incident made you feel, but beware of using a feeling to create a fact. For instance, saying, “I feel like you don’t like me,” or “I feel like you think I’m a bad player,” isn’t about your emotion. This part of the script should only focus on your internal emotion, not attaching blame. More specifically, try to avoid saying “I feel like,” since that often adds an external element to your feeling instead of describing an internal emotion. For the person you’re having the conversation with, this will feel less like a personal attack.

4. Need: “I need to understand if there was some reason you weren’t passing me the ball.”

Difficult conversations often go poorly when the person initiating the discussion doesn’t actually know what they need in order to resolve the problem, so before you start speaking, make sure you know what you really want. “What do you need in order to feel better about the situation?” asks Kyba. Often, the answer is more complicated than you might initially think. In this example, for instance, the immediate assumption would be that the person starting the conversation wants the ball to be passed to her. But really, what she needs is the reason the ball wasn’t getting passed in the first place. Did her teammate simply not notice her, or is there a social dynamic at play, or was another player just within closer passing distance?

5. Request: “Could you let me know what your thinking was during the game?”

After you’ve stated your need, it’s important to break down your need into a request that the other person can respond to. Again, people often skip this step and leave a conversation unfulfilled because they couldn’t articulate what the other person can do to meet their specific need. “In this case, you’re not trying to change what happens in the next game yet, you’re just trying to gather the facts and information from this last game and understand why the ball wasn’t passed to you,” says Kyba. Then, you have the information to either continue the conversation or make an action plan for the next game.

Your conversation may be concluded at this point. If you haven’t come to a good understanding or found a solution, you can begin the process again. This is just a starting point, says Kyba. Thank the other person for taking the time to listen to you and try describing what you think the response to your request was, and how you feel about it.

Practice, practice, practice

Don’t wait for a problem before teaching your athletes about this script! Parents and coaches can benefit from roleplaying a few difficult conversations with their young athletes. “You can role play some silly scenarios and let athletes work out their scripts, which feels like fun, but they do learn to be more prepared for when they need to have real conversations,” Kyba says. “The more you get used to using this script, the easier it is to have a difficult conversation that ends with both parties feeling heard.”

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Takeaway

Having difficult conversations is never easy, but it is important for young athletes to learn this skill, as it offers benefits in both sport and life. These tips will help parents and coaches prepare their athletes to have difficult conversations and find effective resolutions.

Understand that conflict can be good

“It’s important to understand that conflict is not bad,” says Kyba. “Conflict is what helps teams grow. If you show me a team that hasn’t been through conflict, they will be a team that doesn’t take risks. They’re a team that tiptoes around each other because they don’t want to stir things up or address issues.”

Even if your team doesn’t voice conflict, it’s inevitable. If a team is so conditioned to pretend conflict doesn’t exist, there’s a problem in communication and the team will ultimately suffer. Encourage your team members to be comfortable voicing concerns and issues.

Start the year with a discussion about conflict resolution

“When teams have systems in place to anticipate, to recognize, and to work through conflict, it’s easier to move through small and large conflicts as they arise,” says Kyba. “”I think it’s important for all parties to have a conversation – at the beginning – about conflict and know that it’s a typical thing that happens on every team. Explain that conflict helps teams grow and isn’t something to be afraid of. That helps athletes develop trust, and when they have trust, they can take risks and perform better.”

She recommends holding this team meeting early in the year for athletes and discussing not just how to handle conflict amongst themselves, but also when a coach should be involved. A similar meeting between the coach and parents will also help avoid parent/child versus coach/team problems.

Set clear standards

A large portion of team conflict comes when athletes feel resentful for things like not being put on the starting lineup, Kyba explains. Start the season by setting clear standards (and sticking to them), so that athletes aren’t confused about why they are or aren’t getting certain things.

The same applies to ‘hardline’ rules like “no bullying, sexist, racist comments, etc.” Conflict between teammates can be positive, but bullying behaviors are not acceptable in any situation and setting consequences for them early is important.

“But make sure the standards are very clear: terminology like ‘bullying’ or ‘respecting people’ can be very vague,” Kyba adds. “Use descriptive language to describe behaviors so that it’s super clear what’s expected. Don’t use nouns, use verbs.”

For example, instead of saying, ‘Don’t be a bully.’ Say, ‘Don’t bully someone,’ or ‘Don’t exclude someone.’ Using descriptive words to describe an action or behavior – make it specific.

Recognize conflict early

As a coach, it’s important to know what conflict looks like. “Typical non-verbal signs can include people rolling their eyes, people not showing up to practice, and any kind of unsportsmanlike or unfriendly behavior,” explains Kyba. The earlier you can pick up on conflict on your team, the easier it will be to resolve.

Bring it to real life

Kyba cautions against allowing any conflict to fester in text or email format. “I see a lot of teams fall down because they avoid real life interactions and turn to technology, like emailing or texting,” she says. “So much of our communication is actually done non-verbally – tone of voice, body language, etc. And when you have an email or a text, you’re missing all of that.”

Technology also makes it easy to talk at each other versus to each other. Use technology to set up conversations, but don’t use text to try to resolve a conflict.

Read it back

Because technology usage amongst the younger generations is inevitable, teach them good habits. One that Kyba recommends is simply reading the text of an email out loud before sending it.

“I tell coaches to have athletes read an email out loud in that first team meeting but read it twice with different tones of voice. This is a great exercise because it really drives home how tone can impact how a person receives a message and the problem with technology.” And if you must text, Kyba is fond of adding emojis in order to convey tone, even if it feels silly.

List positions and interests

In mediations, Kyba uses a process that looks at positions and interests. “In any conflict, you’ll have two people who often are attached to different solution to the conflict,” she says. “It’s really important to not get stuck in those positions. Try to find what’s actually important to the athlete, because often, it’s deeper than the conflict that was presented to you.”

For example, if a child is angry that he never gets to start in a game, begin the conflict resolution by asking why it’s important to him that he starts. The answer may be that the athlete wants to take on a more prominent leadership role in the team or is worried about how not starting will impact college team selections. Once you understand the athlete’s position and interest within the conflict, it’s easier to find a solution that actually fits the conflict, not a Band-Aid to take care of the immediate issue.

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Kyba concludes, “If a coach sets really concrete and solid systems at the beginning of the season, it just makes their job a lot easier because the team should be fairly self-sufficient. Set up opportunities to have regular team meetings, so that if there are issues going on, people know that there’s going to be a forum to address problems,” says Kyba.

She adds that while the team should be largely self-managing, a coach still needs to pay attention to non-verbal cues, such as people being excluded or not coming to practice.

Helping your athlete advocate for themselves and deal with conflict head-on, rather than relying on you to have the hard conversations, is going to be better for your child in the long-term. Nadia Kyba, MSW, TrueSport Expert and President of Now What Facilitation, shared these tips for smooth coach-parent communication when it comes to conflict.

Open lines of communication early

Ideally, a coach will have a meeting with parents of players earlier in the season, but if the coach doesn’t organize one, consider asking to set one up. Kyba explains that this early discussion of what the season looks like, how the coach approaches conflict, and the best ways to communicate with him or her can avoid conflict entirely or provide a script for how to deal with it when it does happen.

“Having that meeting at the beginning of the season can let you and the coach discuss expectations about how to manage conflicts, as well as setting boundaries around certain communication methods and meeting times.” She adds that a good rule is to avoid meeting or communicating with a coach within 24 hours of a competition or race to allow time for all parties to cool off from any conflicts.

Coaches are people too

Remember, coaches have a lot of demands on their time, and at the school sport level, likely aren’t getting paid much to lead the team. There is a lot of pressure on them, and parents often forget this when they feel their athletes are being ignored or under-appreciated.

“Sometimes, it’s a full-time job just managing the parents,” Kyba notes. “I’ve seen many coaches who are so generous with their time, they’re so committed and passionate, and they just want to coach – but actually what they’re doing is getting bombarded by emails from parents.”

Before you send an annoyed email, bear in mind that your child may be dealing with a conflict, but the coach is likely inundated with other issues as well.

Watch your temper

This applies to both how you approach a coach and how you speak to your athlete about the coach, says Kyba. It’s likely that you’re inclined to side with your child in a conflict situation but remember that insulting the coach in front of your athlete encourages them to lose respect for the coach as well.

“We all have people we don’t really like, but we still need to respect or get along with them, and that’s an important lesson for kids to learn from you,” says Kyba. Additionally, yelling at a coach is likely going to embarrass your child more than it helps them.

Encourage your athlete to communicate directly with the coach

Taking matters into your own hands rather than letting the athlete handle coach communication is common for parents, says Kyba. But unfortunately, it’s rarely effective: Coaches are less likely to want to help an athlete whose parent is always speaking for them, and are much more likely to be impressed by an athlete who communicates directly.

“When your child is empowered to manage the conflict, it’s better for them in the long-term,” says Kyba. You can help your athlete practice the hard conversations, but let your child learn to handle conflict.

Write it out

Teach your child to understand what his conflict or complaint actually is, and what resolution he would like to see.

“The script I use is simple: You describe the issue. Then, you name what you’re feeling about it. Then, you talk about your need. And finally, what is your request?” Kyba explains. Sometimes, the final request will show that the conflict isn’t with the coach at all but is about the athlete needing to do something differently. Gaining clarity before asking for a meeting will help avoid making the conflict bigger.

Know when to go to the administration

It’s important to remember that there are personality-based conflicts, such as disagreement over which player is starting in a game or a problem with a certain aspect of practice, that should be worked out between the coach and the athlete. But there are others, where an athlete feels bullied or there’s any type of physical or emotional harassment, that should be addressed to the proper authorities immediately. When personal safety and mental health are at risk, as a parent, you need to seek outside help and shouldn’t feel conflicted about doing so.

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Try and look at the big picture before asking for a meeting with the coach – or sending an angry email in the heat of the moment.

Kyba recommends pressing pause and waiting a full 24 hours to cool down before taking the next step. Often, that distance will allow you and your athlete to tame feelings of anger and have a more rational discussion. You might even find that the entire conflict will seem a lot less serious the next day.

Before you can teach how to resolve disagreements, it’s important to understand that conflict and bullying are different things. Conflict is a disagreement where both sides can express their views, while bullying is a negative behavior in which one person has power over another.

Here’s how you can facilitate disagreements amongst teammates to keep conflict from turning into bullying.

Establish a conflict policy early 

As your season begins, sit down with the team and create a conflict plan or policy: A set of rules and recommendations for how teammates can best deal with conflicts amongst themselves. This might include a journaling exercise, bringing conflicts to you as the coach before hashing them out with a teammate, or setting a weekly team meeting where your athletes can address problems they’re having.

“Set clear rules about behavior and expectations — if you set those expectations for teams early, it makes it clear how things like conflict or bullying will be handled when it does come up,” says Bailey Huston, a coordinator at PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Center.

Focus on building team culture

One study suggests that the best way to deter bullying is to create strong team camaraderie. If your team has a strong culture of mutual respect and friendship, disagreements are more likely to be resolved in mature, healthy ways.

As a coach, whether it’s conflict or bullying, you have a big role to play when you see a disagreement —but you’re not going to be the one to solve it. “Talk separately with the students first — that allows you to assess the situation and get both points of view,” says Huston. “If the conflict is still ‘hot,’ bringing everyone together sometimes isn’t the most productive way to get to the root of what’s going on.”

“Start with a one-on-one conversation. You want to get to the core of what’s actually going on before you help them hold a conversation to resolve the situation.”

Help students find resolutions separately

Huston suggests telling athletes to pause and think about the ways in which they would like to see the conflict resolved — what is the outcome they’re hoping for? Younger athletes may not have the emotional ability to calmly work through conflict when they haven’t had time to sit with it.

Try having your athletes do a journaling exercise where they write out the conflict and their preferred resolution. “Putting pen to paper is a great way to do this — seeing things written out can give you a new perspective,” she adds. “It can also help them work through what to say and how to respond to people.”

Teach assertiveness versus aggressiveness

“At PACER, we promote this idea of self-advocacy, which is speaking up for yourself and what you need,” says Huston. “That’s assertiveness, but there’s a difference between that and aggression. Aggression comes off as attacking others or ignoring others’ needs and has negative emotions around it. Being assertive is stating your opinion and thoughts while being respectful of the needs of others.”

Press pause when needed

Teach your students that a conflict sometimes requires more than one conversation to solve. “Try to keep your emotions in check, remain calm, and keep eye contact,” says Huston. “Conversations can get emotional and that’s fine. It’s OK to tell the other person that you need a minute to collect yourself. Just say ‘I want to finish this conversation, but I need to take a minute,’ and then you can talk when it’s a better time.’ Don’t just storm away though — that escalates the situation.”

Practice 5-4-3-2-1

“Teach students this activity to ground themselves when they’re feeling stressed or emotional,” says Huston. “Think of five things you can see around you, four things you can touch around you, three things you can hear around you, two things you can smell around you, and one thing you can taste. It’s a great way to bring yourself back to the present and calm yourself down. Sometimes, conflicts get blown up and can turn from conflict to bullying—where a student is trying to hurt the other — when a student gets overly emotional and out of the moment. This exercise can help to ground them.”

Keep conflict resolution in real life

Urge your athletes to keep conflicts in real life versus allowing the communication to continue online. “In-person is best so you can see the other person’s reaction,” says Huston. “With cyber-bullying, what we see is that it’s easier to say things to a person that you would never say to their face because you’d have to see their emotional reaction. Things can also escalate and easily get misinterpreted when communication is digital.”

Handling group conflict

Unfortunately, team conflicts often end up starting with two people and escalating to team-wide drama. “This is when it’s a good time for an adult to get involved and help unwind these complex relationships,” says Huston.

“With bullying, power can come in numbers: a group of people versus one person creates a power imbalance, so that’s something to watch for. Trying to break conflict resolution into one-on-one conversations is ideal. Try to create a level playing field for your athletes because that’s where conflict will be best resolved. As a coach, if you can balance that power and let those students separate to have those conversations, that’s super helpful.”

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It’s important to keep in mind that conflict is okay and it’s a natural thing experienced between people.

“As adults, we know that conflict is part of everyday life. But you have to understand the difference between conflict and bullying,” says Huston. “Strong words can be exchanged, but not all conflict is bullying. Conflict is a great opportunity to make relationships better, and an important part of expressing your needs. It can be stressful, and it can hurt, but a lot of good can come out of it.”